Denver White Elephant Gift Exchange

At long last, here's the Denver LLL White Elephant Extravaganza on December 14 at Mead St. Station. A hilarious time was had by all.

Clockwise from left front: Robin Owens, Rebecca Burgess, Andrea Joy Cohen, Debra Fine, Kristin Nelson, Shelly Vickroy, Bella Stander, Rebecca Burgess, Karen Carter and Mary Taylor Young.

The many exquisitely wrapped gifts were piled in the center of the table and the Ladies picked for themselves.

Carleen Brice happened on the most inappropriate gift, donated by yours truly: a self-published doorstop about an Irish guy who fought for the Confederacy, which she immediately regifted to Robin. Then good luck shone on Carleen again, and she walked away with what was unanimously deemed the most horrid item: a white bisque double-necked amphora (I'm sure there's a special term for it) with a Spirit of the West-type owl painted on it.

Andrea Joy Cohen blessed the amphora, but I have a strong suspicion that it's going to resurface next year. Perhaps it will become a rotating gift, like the famous can of guava paste in Charlottesville. If memory serves, the copulating frogs received by Dawn Hunt (see below post) have also made a previous appearance. And the painted-lady wine glasses that Laura Rydin got from (and returned to) Janis Jaquith were given by me two years ago.

Ghastly-Gift Gathering

Yesterday, the Charlottesville branch of the Worldwide Literary Ladies Luncheon gathered at Milan indian restaurant for the annual White Elephant gift exchange.



Going clockwise: that's yours truly (Janis Jaquith) with hand raised, Fran Slayton (who has wonderful publishing news that may not yet be disclosed), Jenny Gardiner, Laura Rydin Ventre, Marianne Sullivan, the intrepid Susan Wright, and Erika Raskin.










And lucky me, I got what has to get the award for "Most Desperate Gift, Ever." A can of beans, courtesy of Rose Elliott.













Marianne Sullivan having a "what the hell is this?" moment with a ghastly, multicolored ceramic bowl festooned with stuck-on ceramic fish. She decided it would make a good water bowl for the cat. (Although the ceramic fish could be cause for some feline frustration...)








That's Susan Wright holding her Hokie Napkins (unfortunately, the Hokie turkey doesn't show in this shot). Additionally, this tacky collection of Virginia kitsch included a snow and glitter globe of Jamestown, and a Hokie-bird golf tee.





Laura Rydin enjoys, temporarily, the painted-lady glasses that had been happily perched on a windowsill in my gracious kitchen for the past two years. (My gracious kitchen is painted the same periwinkle blue as the ladies.) My husband suggested last week that someone else's house -- anyone else's house -- would be a good place for the glasses. With a heavy heart, I wrapped them up for the LLL wingding. But Laura, the very soul of generosity, wouldn't hear of keeping the glasses, and they are now back home in my g.k.







Jenny Gardiner actually LIKES the collection of Christmas tree decorations she received.






I regret to report that the winner of the Tackiest Gift Prize (wrapped with panache by Erika Raskin) was not captured in a photograph. It was a plastic box (the kind a corsage should come in) filled with taupe satin rosettes. (Even if you could make a taupe rose, why would you?) Elizabeth Howard was the baffled recipient. ("Whatever would you do with THESE?" We suggested that she strew them on her sheets to wow her husband.) Although they didn't actually smell like some musty artifact from Miss Havisham's hope chest, they looked as though they ought to.

I raise my virtual champagne glass to Literary Ladies everywhere: Charlottesville, Denver -- wherever you may be. May 2008 bring inspiration, finished projects, wide distribution, and fat checks. Cheers!

(And many thanks to Elizabeth Howard, who took these photographs -- and had to take home those crappy roses.)

Jenny Gardiner's Publishing Adventure Enters a New Phase

You may recall, back in May, this headline from our blog: Jenny Gardiner Snags Publishing Contract!

Jenny has just entered the "advent" stage of her publishing adventure: The book will appear in bookstores in January (and at $6.99 it's not much more than an Eggnog Latte at Starbucks -- and easier to justify) and the reviews are beginning to appear. (Much like Sally Field, you could say, "They like her! They really like her!")

The first review is from Mamalit.wordpress.com:
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Before commencing with the accolades for Jenny Gardner’s new book, “Sleeping With Ward Cleaver”, let me say that Jenny is always welcome to have dinner at our house. I can’t imagine how someone who wrote this book wouldn’t be exceptional funny (like Molly Shannon), bright (like Madeleine what’s her name Secretary of State), and perhaps, even a little sarcastic. Just my cup of tea for a dinner guest!

Jenny’s book is a romantic comedy about a working mother who find herself and her husband again through all the paranoia and delusion that we all experience as parents and spouses. Luckily, Jenny’s book helps us all see the humor in the situation. The book is a well written and easy read.

The first chapter had me in stitches. Children puking. Planned and dreaded sex nights. Poorly trained pets. Poop. Oversexed single friends. And a husband who behaves like Ward Cleaver. A little something for all of us to relate to in our own lives.

This is book is the “Bridget Jones Diary” for all of us married and harried mommies! And perhaps, a good gift to give to our younger and single girlfriends. It’s a gentle and humorous way to give them a glimpse of what’s to come . . .

What I love the most about this book is the ending. It left me understanding myself and my husband a little more. I just wanted to give him one of those long and sumptuous hugs that say, “I understand.”

And at the end I was left understanding the delicate dance in romantic relationships a little more. “Sleeping With Ward Cleaver” was the perfect romantic comedy for a 30-something Mommy, who still wants to be a sexy and sassy gal, despite the spit up encrusted on all of my clothing. I can only hope Rob Reiner and friends, will put this sassy book on the big screen!
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And this review is from NightOwlRomanceReviews.com:

With five kids, a part-time job and a husband who barks orders while not actually helping, Claire Doolittle's life sucks. Because of her resentment toward her once loving husband, Claire has come to hate sex and allows her husband access to her body once a week, if he behaves.

When she receives an email from an ex-boyfriend, it conjures up memories of the past and Claire realizes just how far off the mark her marriage has gotten. Though she loves her handsome husband Jack, she doesn't like who he's become but feels powerless to change things.

She writes the ex, Todd, back and the pair are soon trading emails of enlightenment (even if Todd's goal is to get into her pants). Meanwhile, Julia, a young, beautiful colleague is hot for Jack. When Jack goes on a business trip to Miami, Claire gets an unexpected offer from her in-laws to watch the kids so she can join him. Jack is not pleased with the idea and soon Claire learns that Julia will be going too.

Claire backs off, but follows Jack to Miami to see if he's cheating. While in Miami she gets more than she bargained for.While the plot, a middle-aged worn out mom who's sick of her husband, does not crackle with intrigue and may hit too close to home for many, the story manages to be a page-turner.

Jenny Gardiner brings to life Claire Doolittle with such vibrancy that I feel I know her. Such was my concern over Claire's and Jack's happiness, that I couldn't put the book down which is a rarity for me.

With her sharp wit and hilarious descriptions, Ms. Gardiner has a delightful voice that left me wanting more.
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Pre-order SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER at Amazon.com

Rose Elliott's Latest Book of Poetry

Announcement from LLLer Roselyn Elliott:

My second poetry chapbook, AT THE CENTER, has been selected for publication by Finishing Line Press, and will be released February 15, 2008.

“The poems in At the Center are tough medicine; and the tougher they are the more beautiful. Roselyn Elliott has a skill for turning pain and illness into poetic transcendence, and then leaving us there, on the heights….Here is a poet who has seen the gleaming, exposed heart of autopsy, the cold and rigid patients “in their sweet blue gowns” and honors the drama of their lives. Let us be thankful for these poems of two worlds, the mortal and the spiritual.”
-- Robert Stewart,
Outside Language: Essays, and
Editor, New Letters

“In this moving collection, Roselyn Elliott stands at the center of the human experience, where the perception of pain and death collides with a fierce, impotent compassion. Speaking with the nurse's precise knowledge of the body and the poet's grasp of the disembodied, she illuminates the excruciating 'ballet' of patient and caregiver.”
--Sharon Leiter, The Dream of Leaving

You may have already received a postcard announcing the publication, and
if you’ve already ordered At the Center, my sincere thanks. Since advance sales determine the number of copies printed, would you please consider passing along a copy of the order form (either as a printout or a forwarded e-mail) to a friend who might be interested in the collection? Please note that if you place your order during the pre-publishing period (before January 18), shipping is FREE. After that, please add $2.00 shipping. Books will be shipped after February 15th.

Thank you!
Roselyn Elliott


(Please mail all orders to the Finishing Line Press address below or order online at FinishingLinePress.com and click on “New Releases”)

Please send me ______ copy(ies) of At the Center, by Roselyn Elliott, at $12.00 per copy.
Enclosed is my check (payable to Finishing Line Press) for $__________

Name_________________________________________

Address_______________________________________

Short Copyediting Gig for UVa

A tip o' the pen to LLLer Dawn Hunt for sending this one:

Copyeditor needed for UVA grant application--quick turn around required.
The final draft will be available within a few days (hopefully December
3rd or 4th) and will be approximately 15 pages. The job must be
completed by the end of the day on December 5.

If you are interested please contact Gertrude Fraser at
gjf2v (at) virginia.edu and use the subject line "ADVANCE copyediting."

Writing Gigs

Part-Time Freelance Writers - Local Lifestyle Content (Comp: per assignment fee) (Central Virginia)
job-484760284@craigslist.org : http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/wri/484760284.html
Charlottesville House & Home is looking to expand our pool of local free lance writers. We assign everything from brief 500 word profiles of local craftsmen to 1500-2000 word lifestyle features. Our beat is regional home and garden design and all the Central Virginia resources that provide those services. More info on the magazine at www.HouseAndHomeMag.com Send a brief letter of introduction, any particular subjects of expertise or interest and previous local writing credits. All of our writers must live in Central Va.
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FREELANCE WRITERS SOUGHT FOR NEW MAGAZINE
Texas Diversity Magazine is seeking freelance writers to contribute
articles for our new magazine that wlll launch during the first quarter
of 2008.
Texas Diversity will be a source of knowledge and information to learn
about the benefits of diversity and its impact on business performance.
It will provide a platform to celebrate diversity and encourage dialogue
around this topic. Published three times per year and with an expected
distribution of 10,000 copies per trimester, we will primarily cater to
business professionals, minority-, women- and veteran-owned businesses,
educators, students, government, institutions of higher learning and
nonprofits.
Please contact David Miles via email for more information, Please visit
our website at texasdiversitymagazine.org to learn more about us.
Compensation: Pay for articles is .33 cents to .50 cents per word.
Reply to: david.miles@texasdiversitymagazine.org.
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ARTICLES SOUGHT
Learning Through History magazine is a bi-monthly history publication for
readers in middle thru high school.
We are accepting submissions for the Italian Renaissance issue through
December 15, 2007. Below are just a few of the many topics that would be
of interest - we also encourage writers to submit manuscripts and queries
on other possible topic(s) that are related to the issue theme:
Medici family
The Papacy
Papal States
Leonardo da Vinci
Sistine Chapel
Machiavelli
Botticelli
Donatello
Humanism
Lucrezia Borgia
Sack of Rome in 1527
Venice (the Doge)
Florence
Italian City States
.. and other related topics.
Learning Through History pays $75 per non-fiction articles of 1000-1200
words, plus a complimentary issue in which your work appears.
Please see the freelance guidelines section of our website for complete
details on how to submit to our magazine:
No agencies, please. Writers must submit their own work directly to us.
Thanks for your interest!
Full guidelines:
http://www.learningthroughhistory.com/freelance_writers.php
Compensation: $75 per article
Reply to: submissions@LearningThroughHistory.com.
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ARTICLES SOUGHT
Looking For health conscious, career minded, individuals to write articles
regarding nutritional supplements and their benefits for an expanding
marketing company. Please email resume and a brief paragraph about yourself
and your interests in health, beauty, and future career goals. Definite
possibilities for growth with the company.
Compensation: Varies
Reply to: bpmarketing3@gmail.com.
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EXPERIENCED TEA BLOGGER SOUGHT
We are seeking an experienced blogger to write 3-5 posts per week for one
of our high profile client websites.
The voice we are looking for is professional, educational and extremely
articulate in nature. The successful candidate will possess excellent
writing and research skills, a strong understanding of tea and the tea
industry, knowledge about professional blogging formats and have the
ability to submit posts on a regular and timely basis.
Although we will provide a detailed content plan and editing assistance
each post will be approximately 500 words in length, include at least one
image, and cover a wide range of news and advice oriented topics about tea
types, quality and history, tea health and tea paraphernalia.
If you meet the requirements outlined above and feel you would be an
excellent candidate for this position, please reply with a copy of your
resume and writing/blog post samples by November 30th, 2007.
As this position is designed for a highly skilled writer and blogger, we
ask that only qualified candidates apply.
Compensation: We offer a very competitive salary of $1,100 per month and
support telecommuting contracts.
Reply to: hpateman@somedianet.com.
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TRAVEL WRITER WANTED
Travel Company needs travel writer to research and write short travel
descriptions of travel opportunities in the United States and around the
world. Work from home. The pay is low, however we have a lot of regular
and consistant work. Please send samples of your writing.
Compensation: low
Reply to: travelscore@earthlink.net.
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Writing Gig for Lobbying Firm

As always, caveat scriptor. I know nothing about these people.

-Janis

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FREELANCE WRITERS SOUGHT

A grassroots lobbying firm seeks freelance writers who are available to
assume episodic writing work for our prestigious client base. Ideal
candidates will be motivated self-starters with clear and concise writing
styles, engaging turn of phrase, and excellent grammar. Ability to manage
multiple simultaneous projects and meet concrete deadlines is a must.

We are currently accepting applications from freelancers with skills in any
of the following areas:
- Business writing
- Sales and marketing
- Ghostwriting
- Journalism
- Copywriting
Projects are assigned to qualified freelancers on a first-come, first-
served basis.
Qualified candidates should submit a resume and two relevant writing
samples Please put Freelance Writing in the subject line of your email and
identify which of the writing skills listed above you possess.

ApplicationDeadline: January 1, 2008

Compensation: Freelancers are paid a fixed fee on a per-project basis.
Fees vary based on the type and scope of each project. Fees range from $35
(for a single page of website copy) to $1,600 (for work on more intensive
marketing)
Reply to: freelance@onpointadvocacy.com